The Sacrifice of Love Made by Birth Mothers

Adoptive parents often take for granted the sacrifice made by birth mothers. The decision to place their newborn child with a family is one that takes much heart-wrenching thought. Sometimes the decision is so overwhelming that birth mothers find themselves emotionally distraught and unable to cope.

Let’s imagine for a moment the birth mother’s pain as she lets go of the life that has developed inside her for nine-months. The memories of the kicking and movement from a little one within will always be with her. She will carry the loneliness and the vicious cycle of emotions throughout her life. Can you, the adoptive parent, genuinely empathize with the birth mother?

For many adoptive parents, the time waiting for the child to arrive is long and frustrating. Adoptive parents experience high levels of disappointment and a gamut of strong emotions when the process doesn’t go as they hoped and planned. So, while both sides of the process experience their unique and often heartbreaking emotions, surely the birth mother’s emotions should be thoughtfully considered from the onset.

Birth mothers who place their newborn’s life in the hands of adoption professionals have made their decision for any number of reasons. With the help of qualified and compassionate adoption professionals, they have carefully weighed their options. Whatever their background and reasons, they have decided that they will provide the best life for their child by loving allowing others to become the child’s parents.

The journey the birth mother takes is harder than we can imagine. By carefully researching and choosing adoption professionals with excellent qualifications and good reputation, a birth mother will find help from people who genuinely care about her and her child’s needs. She can receive services to ensure all her needs are met and honest counseling to help her travel this very rough road. The harshness of the journey can be eased with the help of the right people—including the help of the adoptive parents.

Thoughtful adoptive parents will consider the valuable sacrifice birth mothers make and continually express empathy towards her. Although we know the child will be well taken care of, loved as your own, and given every opportunity to live a healthy and happy life, we need to embrace the birth mother in prayer.

Pray for women who do not have an intimate relationship with God.

O Lord, I come before You in prayer for women who have not had the opportunity to know you. Bring a mentor into their lives who will fill them with yearning to know about the journey and sacrifice Christ Jesus made for them on the cross. Give them a hunger for Your word, and draw near to them as they draw near to you and put Your word into practice in their lives.

Pray for birth mothers who feel helpless and alone.

O Lord, I come before You in prayer for birth mothers who feel helpless and alone during their pregnancy and after birth. Thank you for being their Comforter, their Light, and the One Who heals their sorrow. Hold them in Your arms. Wash away their tears and reward them for their sacrifice. Give them confidence to know that their child will be well taken care of and embraced with the kind of love they would have given their child.

Pray for the birth mother’s health.

O Lord, keep the birth mother healthy and emotionally happy. Give her the strength to endure delivery, heal her quickly, and encourage her to maintain a good outlook on life. Bless her for her sacrifice.

Pray for women and teens who are faced with an unwanted pregnancy.

O Lord, I come before you in prayer for women and teens who are struggling with the decisions they must make about their unborn child. Minister to their hearts and set deep within them Your words that a child is a gift from God and no man shall end the life of another. Help them realize they do have choices. Provide them with the courage to choose life.

Consider carefully the sacrifice a birth mother makes for her unborn child. Open your heart with love and compassion for her. Cherish the time that will be necessary to process the adoption paperwork and the parting of the birth mother from her child. Pray for her as you would for any member of your family. Thank the Lord He has given her to you as His way to give you to her child.

by Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P.

  • Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is a nationally recognized authority on adoption. A Certified Open Adoption Practitioner, Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, LLC., established in 1986. Caldwell has assisted in over 1,800 successful adoptions. She was one of the first adoption professionals on the Internet.
  • Caldwell’s life work has been dedicated to educating and helping birth parents and adoptive parents through teaching, speaking, and resources and as a radio talk show host.
  • Author of a number of award-winning books, Caldwell has more than 150 media credits to her name, including: Larry King Live, ABC News, NBC’s The Today Show, CNN Headline News, CNN’s The Campbell Brown Show, CBS News, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN’s Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, Dr. Laura, and is widely sought for print articles and speaking engagements.